Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
