Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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