I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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