My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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