He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
