I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
PANTIES FOUND
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
