i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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