love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
