worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This is the high leading the old right now
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
