Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So much rum. So many feels.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
false alarm, still single
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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