Just cropdusted the office
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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