Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
