We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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