Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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