Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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