We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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