Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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