Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
