Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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