Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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