"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
