the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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