Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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