i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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