I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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