literally had 100 drinks last night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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