This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
