belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize