piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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