you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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