But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
