Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
