oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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