We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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