Who did Billy Mays play for?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
