Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
