If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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