Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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