Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
