just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
