My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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