Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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