she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
