well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Randomize
