Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
