my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
