I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I supernannyed him into submission
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
