Your dad touched me again.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
