Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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