she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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