what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
