dude i'm inner monologue high
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
