i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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