You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
