And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
