Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
