The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
