there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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