I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
