It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize