I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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