WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
kristin has been a bad kristin
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
