Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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