We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
