there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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