doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I met the friendliest cop last night
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My ATM looks so different sober.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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