So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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