i love accidental penises.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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