We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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