i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
