Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
