I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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