We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
