she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize