Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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