We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
