I can't watch pbs sober anymore
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize