I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize