C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Vodka?
Forever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
