I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
