So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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