you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
