They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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